Zig Ziglar said "Failure is merely an event...it adds to your experience...it is an attitude". It seems like everywhere I turn these days I am coming across people who are having extremely hard times. We too are feeling VERY challenged right now.
Notice I said we are "feeling challenged"? You see, I refuse to state that anything in our lives is a "fact" or a "statement". Why? Because how I see it, feel about it, and affirm it determines how it WILL be. You see, time moves along. So how things are in this moment does not determine how it will be an hour from now, or tomorrow, or the next day. MY attitude however, absolutely will!
Many people need lots of things right now, but I dare say that the fundamental need in our world right now is hope.
Faith is the only anecdote for failure!
We all get to choose whether we are going to think about how bad things are, or affirm that "they are getting better". I know, "just saying it won't change anything." Actually, if you believe it, it will. If you really believe it, you will begin to look for ways to make it better! To paraphrase the great Zig Ziglar, "Do you believe that there is something that you could do today that would make your life worse? Then there MUST be something that you can do to make it better!"
But you won't even try, if you don't believe it is possible!
Think of the difficult times you have had in your life, that we as a country have had in our history. They have ALWAYS been temporary! They have always gotten better. These times will be no different.
Do you find it hard to have hope? Look for reasons to! You will always find what you are looking for! If you are looking for evidence that times are tough, you will always find it. If you look for reasons to hope, you will find those too!
Where to start?
1. Gratitude...
Not "I know, I know, I have a lot to be thankful for, but..."
Get a small notebook and write down 10 things that you have to be thankful for at least 3 times a day. Yes, at least 3 times a day, and yes, you have to write them down. Don't believe it will work? Try it! The more that you are thankful for, the more you will be given to be thankful for!
2. Journal...about the times in your life that you had no hope and how amazing they turned out. Write about the wonderful things and people in your life that you never even imagined you would have.
If you are currently journaling about how tough things are, leave space at the end for the "rest of the story". Leave "room" to come back and write about what a blessing it turned out to be. Then, take it one step further...imagine how amazing the "ending" could be. Go ahead and "make up the ending".
3. Look for ways to help others. No matter how much you are struggling. or how little you have, there is ALWAYS something that you can give to someone else. Even if it is just a word of encouragement. This is truly powerful. Don't disregard it! You will create an immediate shift in your thoughts, emotions and potential when you stop looking at yourself and start looking for ways to help others. Tell that pregnant girl who looks down how beautiful she is, ask that grumpy clerk "what's wrong" and tell her that you believe that her day is going to get better. Tell that child that just made a huge mess "building something" what an "amazing imagination" they have and how "cool" that is!
4. Turn off the news! Stop feeding yourself "food" that makes you sick! Look for healthier choices! Find music, videos, and stories that will "feed your soul". They are everywhere! I have a 9 yr old who is very sensitive and gets easily upset when someone says something ugly to him. We have secretly decided that "we have an invisible shield". So when we are confronted (as we all inevitably are)with negative people, stories, etc., we imagine a clear shield coming over us (kind of like Buzz lightyears helmet). You CAN be standing in front of someone and not "really hear" what they are saying. You can! Just smile and go through your "thankful fors" in your head!
5. You can't just eliminate negative thoughts. "The universe abhors a vacuum". Make the conscious choice to affirm the way you want to be. If you tell yourself daily that you are "always late...totally stressed out...completely unorganized,etc", you will be! Instead affirm to yourself that "I am getting better and better every day! I am getting more organized, more punctual, more successful" or whatever it is that you want to be. Imagine things the way that you want them to be! Visualize what that will "look like". Visualization is far more powerful that I can cover here.
Just do it!
Imagine what you could do if you didn't believe that you couldn't! Do you believe that you "can't" because of a lack of money, or college education? Watch this...
Monday, January 26, 2009
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Advice from Others
I was fortunate to have attended a mastermind group "last year" (hard to believe last month = last year!:)facilitated by Leslie Flowers, who is a life success coach. When discussing all of those "voices out there" (you know the ones. The well meaning-or not, friends, relatives and neighbors that tell you what you should and shouldn't do, can and can't,etc), she says that many of them "are simply not aware". Meaning that they have a lesser level of awareness, and cannot really be "faulted" for that per se.
I have been challenged recently by others who seem compelled to tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing, what I need to do, etc. I imagine that many are in this place as the current economy has left many facing a different path that the one that they were on last year. Many have been laid off, or worse (no severance or unemployment), have had their business simply vanish. Many "well meaning" people have and will continue to ask "what are you going to do?". This is a reasonable question, but a frustrating one for the many who aren't quite sure yet! Others simply state the obvious, "You need to come up with a way to make money". That one is my favorite! I have to repeatedly fight the urge to respond "Really! Thanks for telling me! I had no idea!", especially when the statement is being made for the umpteenth time by the same person! I keep "hearing" Leslie say "they are simply unaware", but it is no less frustrating, as it just turns the pressure up. And, if there is one thing that I've discovered, it's that inspired thoughts, ideas, and creative solutions are not born inside of a pressure cooker!
Yesterday, it all came to me however. I am very visual, and this really drove home the whole "awareness" concept for me.
I was driving to my in-laws and as I turned onto a newly finished "bypass" highway, the "GPS lady" started telling me to turn around. She actually began to sound upset, or rather annoyed that I wasn't "listening". The picture on the screen showed a little car in the middle of nowhere, with no roads in site, as she "yelled at me" to find a road immediately! I couldn't help but laugh! Here I was, on a brand new perfectly paved highway, absolutely certain of where I was going, and that the highway would take me there. But she just "couldn't see it. She was simply unaware!" Therefore, she was convinced that I was going the wrong way, or was lost, or worse, not even on a road to anywhere!
Well "there you go", I thought. Isn't that where many of us are right now! We know where we need to go, and what path we need to be on. We may not know exactly how we will get there, but we know that we are going in the right direction. Yet, there are those others, like "GPS lady", who simply are unaware. Who simply cannot see what we see, or know what we know. If things aren't completely clear, keep one ear open, but don't let that voice drown out your own vision. If your path is just as visible as the highway in front of you, just do what I did...turn her off and keep going!:)
Focus: On Being $ Productive?
During this time, much of our focus is on the economy. For many, it is on "lack" vs. Abundance. I talked with someone the other day who was laid off in '08. He is currently doing IT related contract work, and mentioned that he has more work that he can do. He seemed very stressed about money, and "not knowing" how long the work will last. He stated that when he was first laid off, he was doing lot of work "to help others" (for free). He said that it felt great, but that he quickly realized that he wasn't "getting anything for it", and became fearful of his "money running out", so he shifted his focus to "income generating work". He also told me that he had been going to school for his MBA and had received a loan for more than he needed for tuition, which helped with other bills. He is to receive another this month, but is considering quitting the MBA program because he needs to be working, and finding a job, and is concerned that the MBA will just make him "overqualified" for most jobs anyway.
As someone who has spent the last 15 years in real estate, and who (along with thousands of other Realtors, developers, builders, and lenders) had their "industry" essentially disappear with no severance, and no "unemployment benefits", I was fascinated by this perspective.
Here is someone with so many options, and opportunities and blessings! Most people would LOVE to be in this position! But what struck me the most was the comment about "not getting anything for" the work that he was doing to "help others". I pondered this, and finally asked "How can you be sure that work was for nothing? You said that you have more work than you can do right now, right?" He confirmed that he did, and I responded, "A lot of people don't have that right now. Could it be that the reason that you have been given so much, is actually because of your giving-because of that work that you did for others for free?" I for one, believe that it is!
Too many times (esp. now!) we expect to receive compensation when we simply haven't yet earned it! I believe in the Law of Compensation that says "You must first give value", and that you will be compensated in direct proportion to the value that you give. You can't go to the bank and say "Give me my interest, and then I'll make a deposit!"
I have heard many conversations recently about focusing on making money right now. "This is not the time to pursue your dream" or "This is not the time for self improvement", "I can't be working for free right now", etc. Maybe this is the perfect time! Maybe the gift in all of this is that when you are at "the bottom" or "unemployed" or whatever, you have less to lose! So, why not now? Maybe the gift in all of this is the abundance of TIME! Many are not terribly busy right now! Most people would typically say that they don't have time to dream, or exercise, or learn, or better themselves, or change careers. Now you do!
Wouldn't becoming better, enable you to create more value? When you give to others, even when it's "for free", doesn't that add to your net value? To others, to your self ,and to mankind?
Sure, we all need to make a living, and you should absolutely "be in action", but maybe in this New Year instead of burying ourselves in "the grindstone" mentality, or working & stressing ourselves to death because we are so "lack" focused, and fearful, maybe we should tithe ourselves. Give 10% of our time to others, 10% to our family & friends, and 10% to ourselves. We are usually awake for at least 15hrs per day (ie. 6am-9pm), making 30%=5hrs. That still leaves us a whopping 10 hours to "work"! So cut out the wasted hours and give to yourself and others. You never know how that will be rewarded. Just know that the Law of Compensation states that it will!
As someone who has spent the last 15 years in real estate, and who (along with thousands of other Realtors, developers, builders, and lenders) had their "industry" essentially disappear with no severance, and no "unemployment benefits", I was fascinated by this perspective.
Here is someone with so many options, and opportunities and blessings! Most people would LOVE to be in this position! But what struck me the most was the comment about "not getting anything for" the work that he was doing to "help others". I pondered this, and finally asked "How can you be sure that work was for nothing? You said that you have more work than you can do right now, right?" He confirmed that he did, and I responded, "A lot of people don't have that right now. Could it be that the reason that you have been given so much, is actually because of your giving-because of that work that you did for others for free?" I for one, believe that it is!
Too many times (esp. now!) we expect to receive compensation when we simply haven't yet earned it! I believe in the Law of Compensation that says "You must first give value", and that you will be compensated in direct proportion to the value that you give. You can't go to the bank and say "Give me my interest, and then I'll make a deposit!"
I have heard many conversations recently about focusing on making money right now. "This is not the time to pursue your dream" or "This is not the time for self improvement", "I can't be working for free right now", etc. Maybe this is the perfect time! Maybe the gift in all of this is that when you are at "the bottom" or "unemployed" or whatever, you have less to lose! So, why not now? Maybe the gift in all of this is the abundance of TIME! Many are not terribly busy right now! Most people would typically say that they don't have time to dream, or exercise, or learn, or better themselves, or change careers. Now you do!
Wouldn't becoming better, enable you to create more value? When you give to others, even when it's "for free", doesn't that add to your net value? To others, to your self ,and to mankind?
Sure, we all need to make a living, and you should absolutely "be in action", but maybe in this New Year instead of burying ourselves in "the grindstone" mentality, or working & stressing ourselves to death because we are so "lack" focused, and fearful, maybe we should tithe ourselves. Give 10% of our time to others, 10% to our family & friends, and 10% to ourselves. We are usually awake for at least 15hrs per day (ie. 6am-9pm), making 30%=5hrs. That still leaves us a whopping 10 hours to "work"! So cut out the wasted hours and give to yourself and others. You never know how that will be rewarded. Just know that the Law of Compensation states that it will!
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